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By Odeon Black
Do you remember this scene from the movie Austin Powers?
Quartermaster Clerk: [returns Austin's personal effects after the reanimation process] One Swedish-made penis enlarger pump.
Austin: That's not mine.
Clerk: One credit card receipt for Swedish-made penis enlarger, signed by Austin Powers.
Austin: I'm telling ya baby, that's not mine!
Clerk: One warranty card for Swedish-made penis enlarger pump, filled out by Austin Powers.
Austin: I don't even know what this is! This sort of thing ain't my bag, baby!
Clerk: One book, "Swedish-Made Penis Enlarger Pumps and Me: (This Sort of Thing Is My Bag, Baby)", by Austin Powers.
Austin: Ah.
Clerk: Just sign the form.
Austin: Okay, thank you, handy man. I'll sign here, just to get things moving. [laughs] You know.
It was a very funny scene, with a grain of truth in it for men with disabilities. We often, do not want to talk about our "little problems" or big issues. We want to sweep them under the rug and hope that nobody ever ask. The reality is, we don't want to talk about our penis. Especially, if it does not work as it should, due to our disability. It is easier, sometimes, not to think of it at all.
In short, we fear the penis.
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How do you get to a man's heart? Through his stomach of course. How to get the girl's heart? Through a beautiful poem. Through a combination of words and meanings that make your knees weak and your body shudder. Great love poetry can be simple with laser-like precision, or drawn out for effect and delivery.
Therefore, if you really want to impress your significant other this Valentine's Day, then you better attach one of these selected poems to those dozen roses or box of chocolate. This collection features the old and the new, and it goes to show that when it comes to love words can be timeless. We hope you enjoy these and share them with your friends.
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THE WHITE HOUSE
Office of Communications
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
February 9, 2012
White House to Host The ARC as part of the Community Leaders Briefing Series
WASHINGTON, DC – Tomorrow, February 10th, the White House Office of Public Engagement will host 150 of The ARC’s leaders, members, advocates, and staff from across the country as part of the White House Community Leaders Briefing Series. The ARC is one of the largest national community-based organizations advocating for and serving people with intellectual and developmental disabilities and their families.
The White House Community Leaders Briefing Series, a weekly program that began in the summer of 2011, is a unique opportunity for grassroots leaders to start a two-way dialogue with the White House about issues that are affecting their communities and to ensure that they are well-informed about government policies and programs and how they can use or maximize these resources.
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By Gina Bianca
The twelve days of Christmas have long gone and the joyous welcoming of a new year has quickly passed along with any ideas that you had of actually making resolutions and sticking to them.
We’re now in February. Yes, the month that we’re knee deep in snow and freezing temperatures. We go about our days hoping the groundhog sees his shadow and suddenly it hits you…
It’s coming! Flowers, cards, and candy, oh my.
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By Odeon Black
I know, I know, you're thinking oh no! Another article about dating. Well, yes and no. This article is specifically about dating your disability. I was thinking we all want to go out on a date, but how many of you have thought about dating your own disability?
The romance, the intrigue, but most importantly the awkward moments. I mean there you are with your quadriplegia, holding hands and maybe kissing a little. Then one of you needs a condom, who the hell is going to get it? Nobody, that's who. So there you go having unprotected sex with yourself. The horror.
