Where did I leave my vibrator?

By Odeon Black
Please note this article contains adult content and language.

Where did I leave my vibrator?  Well as it happened, my vibrator was eventually found, but I will get to that later.  First, let me give you the back-story.  My girlfriend (we will call her Becky) and I had always liked traveling.  We would travel any chance we got.  It was so great to get away from the dull drum of every day existence.  To go someplace where no one knows your name, or cares.  You are just a visitor or tourist, there to have fun.  My disability would often get lost in the dancing, sun, drinks and my favorite, sex.  This was and continues to be an escape, a place to simply be a sexual gimp with a hard-on for life.

One of our exciting trips took us to the Bahamas, fabulous beaches, great drinks, and so many foods made with conch.  There was deep fried conch, stewed, sautéed, boiled and the ever-popular sandwich.  The hotel was filled with tourist, clean and surprisingly wheelchair accessible; given it was over 10 years ago. Becky and I could not wait to check-in and get to our room, flying always frustrated us, but also made us very horny.
If you think flying with a power chair is hard now you should have flown 10 or 15 years ago.

We check-in to the hotel and race to the room, the door swings open and the clothes drop like heavy raindrops in a storm.  She tears off my t-shirt, and I rip the three buttons that hold her skimpy shirt together, off with my teeth.  The smell of sea salt wafting in through the window and the scent of sweat fills the room.  Then we remember, we brought a new sex toy; a 7 inch pink vibrator.  It was an average size I suppose, made of silicone and took two AA batteries.  We also, brought a bottle of lube and of course condoms to our mini-soirée.  She unwrapped the vibe and we worked it until the batteries died.  I held it in my mouth, my splint, and she held it in every position imaginable.  All our hotel neighbors heard was, “Oh my God, I love this Vibe”, “that’s my vibe”, “nothing better than your tongue and the vibe”.  Yes, four days and three nights of lube filled, condom smacking, pink vibrations.

Well, on the last day we pack and are ready to go; but we cannot find the pink vibe. We must have searched the whole entire room.  We came to the conclusion that maybe the maid took it or accidentally fell in the garbage can.  We had to go or miss the plane. We left wondering where it was?   We arrived at the airport and rushed to security.  They had a system where they run your carry-on baggage and suitcases through the X-ray machines, while one stands there.

We wait for our bags to go through, as the line behind us gets longer.  The Security officer, in standard white shirt, shorts an official Bahamian hat, begins his review.  One carry-on goes through, and then another, and finally the suitcase has a turn. As it is starting to come out the other end the officer stop the conveyer belt, and backs up the suitcase, he yells to the other guard.  “There is a long metal object in here!” at the same time Becky remembers where she put the vibrator.  She packed it in the suitcase first,  “so she would not forget it”.  She leans close to me and says,  “oh my god, I hate that vibe”, that’s not my vibe”, “how embarrassing”.

Now everybody is looking at us.  We have become microbes under a microscope of possible wrongdoing, passenger curiosity and Security guard indiscretions.  Yikes!
The guard slowly but methodically un-zippered the suitcase as two others watched, Becky, turned a beet red as they lifted the flap and felt around for the “long metal object.”  Yes.  His expression said it all when his hands clutched what could only feel like a worn down silicone cock.  As he “pulled-it-out”, the other guards simultaneously looked up at the young girl and her “friend” in the wheelchair.  Becky looked mortified, horrified, she was not into the “vibe”, right now.  I shrugged.

The guards quickly threw the vibe back, zipped the suitcase and yelled, next!  I was so glad we were not next.

Raised Garden Boxes

Would you like to raise some flowers and/or grow some vegetables for your own consumption? Raised bed garden boxes will let you do that and it is great exercise. Each spring the soil must be worked up and planted. During the growing season the vegetables must be weeded and

thinned. If the weather is not cooperating the plants must be watered. The wilted flower heads must be picked off the plants (called deadheading) which is great exercise for fingers. A box does not take up much room if space is an issue. Prior to placing a box, the area under it must be prepared. This is not necessary if it will be placed on cement or any other solid surface. If placed on the ground you must assure good drainage.

The height of the box opening should be a few inches taller than the armrests of the wheelchair. The width of the growing area should be several inches less than twice the gardener’s arm length which will allow the covering of the entire planting area. Built from pressure treated lumber, the box is open on two sides so one can drive a wheelchair underneath it and work straight on. 

The first year my boxes presented some unique problems because of the construction.  The 2” by 8” which made up the planting area did not allow for the soil to be deep enough for vegetables so most of the vegetables planted did not grow very well.  The following year, as you can see from the picture, we added about 3 inches to the height of the planting area.  This allowed adding another 250 pounds of soil to the bed.  Also, in an effort to cut down on moisture evaporation we added Hydro-Sorb to the soil. Hydro-Sorb retains water and releases it a little at a time.  These two changes made the boxes much more successful. We did not find it necessary to increase the depth of the flower boxes.               

I have 6 boxes, four I plant with vegetables and the other two with annual flowers. I enjoy working these boxes very much. I use adaptive garden tools which can be purchased online. The vegetable boxes can grow salt potatoes, broccoli, onions, baby carrots, beets and garlic. Gardening is good for many different reasons. Check out the video   Raised Bed Gardening

Button Board

 

This morning when I open my e-mail I found the most interesting letter.  Dominic Valentino  wrote me about a website he constructed called Button Board buttonboard.com , which allows an individual to surf the web using just the mouse. He built the website for his own personal use but was wondering if it would be helpful to other people who have limited range of motion or other problems. I tried the website and it works great. It amazes me the technological skills that some people have.

There are two other commercially available products which may make your computer more user friendly. The first is the UBS Haspel 4 Port Web Hub which connects to a UBS port in the back of your computer. A 3 foot long cord on a reel allows you to place the plug in device anywhere you want it. There are four UBS ports located around a  4” circular hub. If your dexterity is limited when you go to connect something like a scan disk at least one port is usually facing the right way. The cost at Radio Shack is less than $10. The second, also available at Radio Shack, is a Logitech Trackman Marble (Computer Mouse) The mouse ball is on the top as opposed to the bottom. The entire device stays in one place and you just manipulate the ball. It can be setup for right or left-handed people. You can choose what function you want the easily accessible button to perform. Also it enables you to control the speed of the cursor. I encourage you to try the Button Board website and forward it on to anybody you believe would find it useful. Please if you have created something like Dominic which would be useful to others contact us.

Gloves for Everyone

By Kelly Rouba

All too often people without mobility restrictions take for granted the ease in which they are able to manage their personal care—from brushing their hair to bathing to putting on clothes. It is mundane tasks like these that can prove to be the most frustrating for those of us who struggle to accomplish them or simply cannot do them at all.

As someone who has difficulty with activities like putting on socks or styling my hair due to severe arthritis, I know that it can be embarrassing or bothersome to have to ask for help from others. In the past, there have been days when I simply couldn’t bring myself to ask or no one was around to help. In some cases, I just forego doing certain things all together, like putting on a hat or wearing gloves. Because of the limited range of motion in my shoulders, I cannot put on a hat. And whereas gloves are concerned, my fingers have so many contractures that I can only wear mittens, which I find to be restrictive and juvenile (sorry to those who like wearing them!).

However, from time to time, a stroke of luck comes my way and I happen upon an adaptive device or unusual product that allows me to accomplish things that I could never do or struggled with doing before. In fact, this very thing happened just a couple weeks ago when Christy Gibney, a darling woman I have collaborated with on work-related projects, made my coworkers fingerless gloves, so to speak. Although Christy made me a scarf, she quickly got to work on a pair of gloves for me after seeing how easy it was for me to put them on due to their design and that I could still maintain the function in my fingers.

Within a few days, my very own pair of blue gloves arrived at my home. My mother actually cried when she saw them because it has been years since I’ve worn anything to keep my hands warm when outside. It always pained her to watch me go out of the home in the cold. That evening, I proudly wore my gloves when we went out to eat and the warmth they provided to my fingers was an amazing feeling.

It is my belief that this type of glove would be beneficial for many people with disabilities and even those without. According to my coworkers, they are able to do so much more—from caring for their children to operating their cars—with these gloves than they could in regular ones and none of them have a disability.

Christy informed me that the pattern for fingerless gloves is available online; she also told me there are a number of knitting groups that donate items they knit. Those who can’t knit or don’t know anyone who does may want to search for these groups online in order to submit a request.

I am very grateful for Christy’s generosity and for eliminating one of my lifelong struggles. It’s a great feeling, and I hope readers of this blog find the gloves just as helpful.