Start By Educating the Educators

In my work, I am often invited to high schools to speak to students on career day. I always invite an associate who is visually impaired because, too often well intentioned professionals (like me) consider themselves authorities but, I believe if you want to know about how somebody thinks, feels and lives, you need to ask them.

We always encourage the students to ask anything – we want to dispel stereotypes and to also answer questions that people usually consider politically incorrect.

I call what we do – sensitivity and awareness presentations.

The kids are always open and eager to understand. The teachers and the school administrators? Not so much.

Recently my colleague and I were invited to a high school in Union County. We were introduced to the hundreds of students in the assembly by the principal, who’d introduced herself to us as Dr. (name withheld to protect the ignorant).

Although we’d spoken with her and provided our bios, she introduced us as follows:

“Ladies and gentlemen, we will now hear from Ms. Gaston who is going to tell you about her career helping the blind. I think it is wonderful that she has also brought one of the blind that she teaches to live in society. You know we all must be considerate of the handicapped because they are God’s special people. The gentleman here today was trained to live like normal people and he’ll tell you how he learned to take care of himself. It’s important to accept handicaps because it isn’t their fault that they have an illness. They can’t help being different. Having so many challenges is not easy, not at all. So, I want you to promise that you will pay attention and make our guests feel welcome at our school.”

I looked at my colleague – my friend and the expression on his face spoke volumes. First, I told her I am a Public Information Officer not a teacher. Second – After speaking to him, discussing his credentials, and reading his bio! He and I both could not believe that she came out of her face like that! Nothing about this guy presents as anywhere near pitiful.

He is an educated world class athlete, husband, and father. The man is the founder and CEO of a successful business. He sells computers not pencils out of a tin cup on the corner of Broad & Market!

To lighten the moment, I leaned over and whispered, “Is it me, or do you hear violins?”

As, I addressed the students, I noticed a familiar face. A young man who is part of a group of visually impaired teens who are mentored by – guess who? My colleague.

The poor kid was chewing his nails, tapping his foot and fidgeting nervously in his seat. He looked terrified. I felt him. I knew immediately, he was afraid we were going to “out” him. He was doing something a lot of people who are legally blind do. We call it “passing” – pretending that their visual impairment does not exist.

But think about it – if the Principal, the leader of both the faculty and students has that perception of people with disabilities – do you blame him?

Peace,
Ujazi

Livin Large and Lovin It

It’s January 3rd 2K10 and after all the prep, pomp and circumstance, the holidays are a done deal. Time to take down the decorations, put away the leftover wrapping paper and throw out the leftovers (I am placing a personal moratorium on consuming turkey at least the next 4 months).
I usually don’t make resolutions because I hate breaking promises, especially to myself.
Undoubtedly you’ve probably already heard somebody declare their goal is to lose weight. If you haven’t – I certainly have, at least 10 times from 10 different people already.
I was minding my business today, washing my hands in the restroom and these two chicks were discussing their holidays and inevitably, the question was asked, “Did you make any resolutions?” Both of the ladies did not appear to have any discernible excess flesh but here is how their conversation went:
“Oh girl I have to lose some of this weight. I have just let myself go.”
“I know what you mean. I am getting as big as a house. All this weight is just not healthy.”
I looked up just in time to catch the one with her back to me jerk her head in my direction. When the other one saw me looking at them in the mirror, she grabbed her friend’s arm and dragged her towards the door. When they got to the other side they both began laughing.
I laughed too.
For anyone reading this who has never met me I am a big woman. Nothing about me is thin. The words “small” – “average” – “normal” – “regular” are generally not used when someone is describing me and not just because of the size of my body.
So, they thought they were laughing at me and I laughed along with them but for a different reason.
I don’t want to be small if it means that trying to humiliate someone would be something I would consider amusing.
I don’t want to be average if it means that how I look will become more important then how I treat people.
I don’t want to be normal if it means that my spirit will no longer be able to connect with anyone who is not like me.
And I definitely don’t want to be regular if it means I will forget that kindness, respect, understanding and love are what real beauty is about.

So, for 2010, I’m putting a red circle with a line through it on anybody or anything that tries to interfere with my believing that I have the right to cherish this wonderful life I have been given to live.